It works like this; Jimmy and Johnny sit on the floor of their flat in the Super City; surrounded by the unwashed remains of yesterday and the day before. Mum and who-ever are still sleeping off the stuff they picked up from the man with the permanent sniff. So it's Jimmy and Johnny's world right now.
The TV. What a TV! Auto-D - state of the art, surround sound and wide as child snatcher's grin, still bearing the scars from its long fall off the back of the truck, is a riot of blue and red. Swirling shapes. Close up - kids faces - they're studio props and they're screaming because that's what kids do on Saturday Snapperday
Saturday Snapperday is the coolest show on TV. It's must-watch in a way that, if you were over eleven, you simply couldn't grasp. They kids say it's duff. That means's it's good, by the way. Language goes around.
Jimmy and Johnny stare, porcelain faces reflecting the rainbow of exploding colours. Boy band. Screaming kids. Lights. Girl band. Lights. Strobes. Jimmy feels his head wobble. Johnny rocks slowly. Like a Jenga tower before the last piece is pulled.
Commercial break. Here it comes. The executives at Wellog have spent nine million Pounds Sterling on the next forty seconds... Jimmy and Johnny open up their heads and the carbo-loaded goodness pours in.
They can see it. Almost taste it: that crispy sugar frosting. Here comes Lenny the Lion on his skate board. And now the bad jackals are catching up with him - but wait - he has a bowl of Sparkles! Yeah! Where did it come from? And a spoon! Really? Who knew?
Lenny takes just one spoon of Sparkles and - BAM! He's ready for action! Auto-D explosions are going on everywhere and the boys are immersed in the virtual spectacle of it all. The air between them is a myriad of energy. See how it snaps, crackles and pops. They're electrified.
Lenny's chest bulges as he's lifted over their heads with his arms flexing with new found muscle. Sparkles are flying from him and bathing the marble cheeked boys in their light.
He's going to sort those weedy jackals out now - just watch him now that his skate board has its rocket booster...
Jimmy and Johnny have their own Sparkles. They don't need spoons. Mum and who-ever won't be up for hours, but it's okay. Because they have their Sparkles. Mum bought them. Same as always. Because she wants her boys to get the best start every day.
Johnny's hand goes deep. Jimmy's hand goes deeper. s-c-r-u-n-c-h.
Their eyes never leave the screen.
"They're Carbo-Tastic!" Lenny exclaims to the watching world.
The second section of Saturday Snapperday is back on by the time they're on their third handful. They miss Pirate Lizards - too busy fighting.
A generation ago, the distraught minority called it Fanta Syndrome. Where the mega-rich of the cola companies did such a great job of pedalling their fruit-flavoured shit to the uneducated masses in North Africa that young mothers started feeding fizzy soda to their offspring instead of milk.
Johnny and Jimmy are modern day Fanta Babies, slowly starving to death while their bodies drown in sugar.
But they don't look right. You know?
They're ghosts.
That's right- maybe I should mention - these carbo-tastic kids have had a few behaviour issues in school. So, after a little chat with the Educational Welfare Officer, it was decided that it might be best all round if they got a daily helping hand from our buddies at Pharmatech... (proud sponsors of the school science department).
But it's okay. Don't worry about these little guys. They may not have much but we've got their education covered.
Did you know about Class Tabs? Rich in Omega 3, Omega 9, Broccoli Essence and Vitamin-Zed-Zed-Plural-Zed-Alpha, these capsules are like nuclear smart bombs.They help the boys concentrate. They boost learning. They even make math easier. Pharmatec have said so, and they do science.
Johnny even pops a couple at the end of Pirate Lizards; just to be good and ready for the next Lenny break...
*i-Con is an ongoing series of science fiction stories set in the near future which I write from time to time. It is hosted at ArkSanctum.org. See the link below for chapter 1.01
Related - Fanta Babies / i-Con / Omega 3 exam trials
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I would laugh at this, if I weren't crying. Very well-written and chilling. This is my students' reality. If you add the uncontrollable carbage-induced flatulence (and embarrassment) in small, crowded class rooms, you'd have a totally accurate sketch.
ReplyDeleteThanks :) They never mention the smell when they talk about teaching, do they?
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